Always Be My Baby Read online
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“Uh huh.” Her lips perked. “He’s so sweet and has the cutest dimples.”
I crossed my arms and scowled. “If you like him that much, then you should go out with him.”
“He didn’t ask me out. He asked you.” She closed her eyes and waved a hand. “He has your number, doesn’t he?”
I recalled when he asked for it. “Yes, and pager number. It doesn’t mean anything.”
The doorbell chimed.
“Maybe it’s him again,” she cooed.
“Shut up.” I rolled my eyes.
The doorbell chimed again.
I dismissed her words and headed for the door, but a little tiny part of me wished what she said came true. Stupid me forgot to check the peephole and opened the door.
Chapter Seven
Jealousy
Lucas
I couldn’t take it anymore. Missing the hell out of Cammy, I needed to see her. Paul was right. The more time I gave her, the harder it would be to patch up my mistake. She needed to know I would have nothing to do with Caroline, that I would pick her over anyone.
I didn’t bother to page her or call, knowing she wouldn’t answer the phone. So when I stopped by her place, no one seemed to be home, even though a faint light glowed through the blinds. No one answered when I knocked on the door. It was after midnight.
Where the hell is she? Out with her friends on Saturday night? Possibly.
I went back to my car and decided to come tomorrow morning when I spotted Cammy with another guy. What the hell?
My heart sank to my stomach and the world spun out of control. Calm down, I told myself. Old friends? Cammy didn’t have any guy friends that I knew of.
When he leaned closer, she didn’t move away. It took every ounce of my willpower not to go over there and punch his face. She smiled at him the way she smiled at me when we first started dating.
I searched deep in my memory of the past few months. Cammy and I had been fighting more than before. It was mostly over Caroline, but maybe she was trying to find an excuse to break up with me and date that guy?
He didn’t kiss her, but still I couldn’t wrap my mind around what I saw. After Cammy went inside, the guy took off. I debated whether to confront him. But why? I didn’t know what was going on, and I certainly didn’t want to look like an ass or make a fool of myself. Enough was enough.
I pressed the doorbell, and a few seconds later, I did again. Be patient, I chided myself. I waited and waited... the longer I waited, the harder my heart thundered against my rib cage. What if she never wants to see me again?
The door swung open. Her smile faded. She looked absolutely amazing in her cutoff jeans, crop top, and her blonde hair in a scrunchie. And those gorgeous amber eyes I’d missed so much nearly had me kneeling on the floor, begging her to take me back.
“Lucas?” She sounded off guard, in shock.
Was she expecting that guy?
“Cammy,” I said softly. “Can we please talk?”
I braced myself for the door to slam in my face, but she nodded and opened it wider. “Come in. Do you want anything to drink?”
“No.” I sat on the sofa.
I wanted to wrap my arms around her, smell the sweet scent of her, and kiss her. A kiss that would tell her how sorry I was and to make up for hurting her, hurting us.
When Cammy sat on the opposite side of me, I felt the division. A sturdy wall had risen between us, and I realized then it was going to take a lot more than begging and apologizing to bring it down.
“Cammy.” I reached out for her hand but dropped mine instead. I’d wanted to see her so badly that I hadn’t planned a speech. What the hell do I say? So I poured out my heart. “I’m so sorry, baby. It’s killing me that I’ve hurt you. You have to believe me that I’m hurting, too. I told Caroline that I never want to talk to her again. I’ve said this before, but she kissed me. I was in shock, and I might not have pushed her away. But I swear, baby. She means nothing to me.”
A tear slid down Cammy’s face. “I told you to be careful about Caroline, but you didn’t listen. You let her in. I can’t look at you without thinking of her lips on yours.”
I scrubbed my face, releasing a deep sigh. I wasn’t making any progress. “Cammy. I’m begging.” I went to her and dropped my head onto her lap. She stiffened. “Please, Cammy. Give us another chance. Let’s heal our wounds together. Just tell me what you want me to do. I’ll do anything.”
Her body trembled slightly and a soft whimpering noise escaped from her. “I need time. I can’t—”
Anger rose from the pit of my gut. I sat up with my jaw clenching. “Is it because of that guy?”
Cammy wiped her cheeks, her eyes wide. “What guy?”
“I came earlier to talk to you and I saw you with that guy. Who is he?” I shouldn’t have raised my tone, but too late.
Cammy got up, putting more distance between us. “It’s none of your business, but he’s just a friend.”
“Does he know that? Did you tell him you don’t have a boyfriend anymore? Are you telling me you want more time so you can decide whether you want him or me?”
Jealousy raged in me. Why can’t she give me a second chance? I get that she needs more time, but...
“Get out.” She pointed at the door. “For your information, he walked me to my apartment because it was late at night. We were in a study group. He was concerned for me. Were you concerned about me when you kissed that girl in front of all your freakin’ brothers? And another thing. We never talked about our future. You’re moving back to LA, and I’m going to be here. Did you not have the balls to break up with me, so you had to tell me by kissing what’s her face?”
“We-we didn’t get a chance to talk about it,” I stammered. “Maybe you were trying to tell me something by going behind my back and flirting with that guy.” Some corner of my brain knew I made no sense, but I was beyond mad. I breathed out. “Listen, we both should act like mature adults and stop before we say something we regret.”
Cammy scowled, her face as tight as ever. “Maybe you should have thought of that before you kissed that skank.”
I lost it and raised my voice. “I’m sorry, Cammy. I’ll say it thousands of times. She kissed me. Can you please forgive me and just move on together?”
Cammy rubbed her eyebrows with her thumb and forefinger. “If you saw me kissing a guy, could you forgive me?”
A trick question. “If he pushed himself on you like Caroline did, and you didn’t kiss him back, like me...” I stressed that point. “... then, yes.”
She tilted her head, her eyes unfocused, considering my answer. “I don’t know a whore that would push himself on me.” She smirked. “So, I get to kiss a guy. If you can handle it without freaking out, then I’ll give us a chance. If you lose it, then we’re done.”
“What?” I nearly choked. “You’re kidding, right?”
She angled her eyebrows with her arms crossed. “Would I joke about that?”
I shifted on my feet. “You’re going to kiss a guy and tell me about it?”
“No,” she drawled that one little word. “I’m going to kiss him in front of you.”
“Cammy. That’s crazy.”
“Is it? I want you to feel what I felt. Then you’ll know it’s not so easy to wipe the image of someone kissing me out of your mind.”
“Fine.” I massaged the back of my neck. “When are you going to do this?” And I couldn’t believe I made the most ridiculous bet with my girlfriend. Regardless of what she thought, we were still together. We hadn’t officially broken up, not yet.
“I don’t know.” She sounded hesitant. Perhaps she’ll change her mind?
“Fine. I can’t believe we’re doing this.” With that, I walked out the door, angrier than I’d been before.
Kiss another guy in front of me. I can handle it.
Whatever it would take to get her back.
Chapter Eight
My Roommate
Cammy
>
“You did what?” Leah shrieked the next morning when I told her the bet I made with Lucas.
I handed her a mug of coffee and sat across from her on the dining table. Savoring a sip, I said, “It just happened. I was so pissed off at him that I just said it. He thinks it’s so easy for me to take him back after he kissed that girl. How could he think I could just forget it like it never happened?”
“I don’t know, but I have to say, you’re sneaky.” She covered her hands around the mug, taking in the warmth.
“Sneaky?”
“Well, sneaky might not be the word, but are you going to kiss Grayson?” She eyed me carefully.
I almost spit out my tea I had just drunk. “No. Why would you say that? I mean, I think he’s very attractive, but I don’t have thoughts of him like that. Though I told Lucas any guy. I should kiss someone he dislikes as much as I hate that girl. I can’t even say her name. I should kiss a guy from the other frat. That would piss him off.” Then I thought about what I had said. “I’m being ridiculous, aren’t I? I’m acting so immature about this. This isn’t me.”
Leah perked her pretty pink lips and shook her head. Then her hazel eyes beamed. “But I like the new you. Cunning. Evil. And he deserves it. I’ve told you so many times he’s not good enough for you. He doesn’t treat you like you deserve. You’re one in a million, Cammy. He took that for granted. It’s his freakin’ fault for being stupid enough to let a freshman bitch get in the way of your relationship.”
I shook my head. “I don’t know, Leah. This isn’t who I am. I don’t think I’ll have the guts to kiss a stranger, to use him like that.”
“Then kiss a guy you know. Tell him your plan, no strings attached. And I bet this guy will be more than willing to kiss you. You tell Lucas where and when. Then just do it. Kiss and it’s over.”
“You make it sound so simple,” I groaned then savored another sip. “The problem is, I don’t know any guys. I mean, I know lots of guys, but most of them know Lucas and they would never do what I ask.”
Leah twitched her eyebrows, giving me a mischievous smile. “You know Grayson.”
My cheeks warmed. “I can’t. I barely know him. And besides, I need to be in his study group. It was the best study group I’ve ever attended, not that I’ve been to many, but it was helpful.”
Leah leaned back into the chair, her fingers still hugging the mug. “How can you compare? In all three years I’ve known you, you’ve only been to two group studies. That’s not much to compare, Cammy. So don’t make up any excuses. Besides, who else can you ask?”
I shook my head. “I made a stupid bet out of anger. One of us is going to get burned.”
“It ain’t going to be you, sista.” Leah gazed at me under those long eyelashes. Lucky for her, she didn’t have to use mascara.
I tapped on my mug. “Honestly, I don’t think I can go through with this.”
“I won’t tell you what to do Cammy, but either do this and get it out of your system, take Lucas back or dump him. Make a decision.”
“How do you leave someone you love? I still love him. I’m just so angry at what he did. He’s truly sorry. I know he is.”
“I understand. This is your first real relationship. The first break up is very difficult. But if Lucas isn’t the one, you have to let him go. I want you to find the kind of love you can’t let go. And if you can see yourself without him, then it’s over. Don’t try to mend what is already broken and unrepairable.”
My fingers slowly traced the rim of the empty mug. “You’re right. I still don’t know what I’m going to do, but you’re right.”
She waved a hand. “Just let it happen or sleep on it. That’s what I always do.”
“The reason you’re always relaxed and the reason I’m stressed as hell.”
Leah giggled. “When you’ve been through hell and back plenty of times, you learn to laugh about it. It’s all good. Anyway, your mom called and left a message on the answering machine.”
“Thank you. I mean for everything.”
Leah reached over and rested her hand on mine. “Anytime. You’re my nurse and I’m your therapist.”
We shared a laugh.
“You working today?” She finished her coffee with a long gulp.
“It’s Sunday, remember?”
“Fever can do funny things to your brain.” She snorted. “Well, I don’t feel like studying, and I don’t want to be indoors. Let’s go shopping.”
“Are you okay to be out? I mean you just got over a fever.”
Leah stood up and took my empty mug. “Don’t be my nurse right now. We both need some sun, Snow White.”
I glanced down at my arm and then to Leah’s smooth, golden brown skin. Lucky.
“Fine,” I snapped playfully with a flip of my messy blonde hair.
Chapter Nine
The Phone Call
Cammy
Leah and I had a blast shopping. We spent three hours at the mall, grabbed something light to eat for dinner, and then finally came home. After I washed and plopped into bed, I called my mom.
“Cammy. How are you?”
“Good. How are you?”
“I’m calling because I haven’t heard from you.”
“Sorry. I’ve been very busy. It’s only been a week, Mom.”
I sounded a bit sassy, so I paused to change my tone. After my fight with Lucas, I hadn’t felt like talking to even my mom or my sister.
“I know, but I was getting used to you calling me every other day.”
“Sorry, Mom. How’re Casey and Peter?”
After my parents divorced, my mom married Peter when I was in high school. I rarely spoke to my father, especially since he moved back to London. I visited him last summer, but with the time change, it was difficult to call, not to mention how expensive it was to call overseas.
“They’re fine. Casey isn’t home right now. She got a job at the bakery, and she’s making her own graduation cards. She got accepted to the culinary school she wanted to attend in San Francisco.”
I shifted on my bed and coiled the telephone cord around my finger. “She did? Great for her. I can’t believe my little sister is graduating from high school in three months.”
“You’ll be there, won’t you?” Not a question, but not a demand.
“Of course. I only have one sister, and you guys are only an hour away.”
“Good.”
“Give Peter my love.”
“He’s right next to me.”
“He’s not working in the ER today?”
Mom met Peter at the Emergency Care in the county hospital, where she was a nurse. They were friends to lovers. He had been there for her through a rough marriage and divorce, and they discovered they wanted to be more than friends.
“Nope. He got the day off.” Mom sounded excited.
“Well, enjoy your time together, and I’ll swing by home next Sunday.”
“How’s Lucas?”
I tried to hang up the phone before she could ask, since she always asked about him on every phone conversation we had, but too late.
I told her half a truth. “He’s fine. I saw him yesterday.”
“He’s welcome to come over next Sunday. Let me know and I’ll cook a homemade meal.”
Her words squeezed my heart. And I couldn’t find the words to tell her what had happened. Before my tears could fall, I said, “Mom I have to go. I’ll talk to you soon. Love you.” Then I hung up.
I tried not to think of Lucas, and spending most of the day with Leah helped, but I had to face reality. Lying in my bed—safe and warm—in the comfort of my own making, took me away from life. And that stupid bet. I had made it out of spite. Ugh! I didn’t want to think about it. I would let it happen or sleep on it. That was what Leah had told me to do.
Just as I was about to drift away to the serene calm of sleep, the phone rang. Thinking it might be Lucas, I decided to let the answering machine do it instead, but then I remembered Leah was
staying up late to study for her mid-term.
“Cammy, it’s for you,” Leah shouted through my door, but she said it with a hint of playfulness I had never heard her use just to tell me to pick up the phone.
“Thanks.” I answered, “Hello.”
I heard the click from Leah.
“Cammy. It’s me, Grayson.”
My eyes shot open, and I bolted up. “Grayson?” My tone rose. “Grayson,” I tried again, that time achieving a neutral tone. “Hi. What’s up? I mean did you need something?” Geez. I sounded nervous.
“No. I thought I’d call and see if you had any questions or if you wanted to ask questions or if you just wanted to talk.” He was rambling, too. “Because the test is tomorrow.” A light chuckle rambled through the phone. “I think I asked you the same question in three different ways.”
Leah’s head popped through the crack of my door with a broad smile.
I stuck out my tongue at her. “That’s fine. It’s so sweet of you to call, but I think I’ll be fine. Like I said before, the review group was awesome and everyone was helpful. I’m ready for the test.”
Leah plopped on my bed, tugging the phone so she could hear. As silly as it was, feeling like we were in high school, I let her.
“Good.” A pause. “If you’re free, maybe we could have lunch together after the test. My treat.”
“No. I should be the one treating you.” I slapped my forehead. Did I offer to not only have lunch but to pay?
“Great. Then it’s a... lunch. I don’t need to pick you up since we’ll be in the same class.”
“Uh?”
“It’s just lunch,” Leah whispered, lightly socking my arm. “He didn’t ask you to sleep with him or kiss him, for crying out loud, Cammy.”
“Okay, Grayson. I’ll see you in class, and it’s a lunch date. I mean—we’ll have lunch—as friends.” Oh dear God. Shoot me now.
After we hung up, Leah waggled her eyebrows. “Lunch date?”
“I didn’t say that.”
She giggled.